it was saturday yesterday,i went to the park as usual.after that i had to go to my classmate's home.in fact it's not a long way taking half and an hour,but it's still far for me to get there just for lunch.and i had to take with me some present,in all,haha,the lunch cost a lot.on the way i sent short message to the girl,chatting about whether it is possible for her to give me a chance,the answer had been always no,so consistent,giving me no hope,which made me very down.when i got back from my classmate ,we kept seeding message to each other,as a result,i didn't go to bed until 2:00 in the dawn.though i felt tired,it did mean for me,anyway this is a chance to know more about her,to help me think about the future.however,i just got more and more confusion about what she is thinking and what she really wants.maybe she is really too clever for me,such a foolish boy,haha.

i didn't get up early today ,the resting day assigned by the GOD,for exercise,i fell asleep waiting for her reply,waking up at about 8:00,because her message ,saying she had been dreaming before me,unforgivable.i rememberred  her examination about what i would do in oder to make her like me in a year,and in a month.my answer was not even satisfying myself,to say nothing of her,so she judged me again as unmature.haha,insteresting!especially after we both got the score of the scientific test for human's mental age.

i like a girl,so i like and embrace  every aspect of hers,and i do not have to make a conclusion about the good and the bad point.just as a line in Zhou XingChi'S MOVIE,do you need a reason to love someone ?

a long way in front of me ,now that i had begun.i would go to the end,no matter what kind of the result it would be!

before i left the office she told me that she was unhappy on the MSN,so i chatted with her for a while.during that i din't find any necessary reason that can make her unhappy,except the complicated relationship between a damn man and two loving girls,which i guessed,of course i do not want to accept the truth that she may be jealous of the girl because the damn man,but i don't have any reply from her so far,including whether she feels better now.i think i do care her!
then i went to the park nearby,just to have a rest.there are always a lot of people,none of whom did i know,then i can enjoy the quietness.i found a chair to sit,listening to the birds and smelling the taste of the grass,i didn't lie,there are birds in the trees.i was very surperised when i got short message from her saying they have finished supper,i don't kwon why i also felt quite happy abnut this except that i do care her,so i want to get any information from her no matter how unimportant it is.
when i come to the park to take morning exercise i don't have to ware glasses because i don't have to see their faces clearly,including those beauties and monsters.i just run a round and another round,thinking about nothing. you may say i am a man without heart or lungs,haha,but i am still me.
write this to the damned shit garbage computer i am using, when i have nearly finished it's dead so i have to write again

from today i will write here in english,no special purpose,just to show,ha!english is my favorate subject so i really don't want to abandon it.so from today i come back for you!
my first writing on the internet is about my confusion whether i have began liking the girl i haven't been acquainted for long,ha,to some extent,i don't know her at all,instead,i just knew her name and heard her voice.that'all!but i really appreciate her candidness and optimism,which i could identify from her pleasing voice,especially her laughing.
i have to say i am not good at hiding my feeling in front of a good girl so i couldn't help to say i like and i want you to be my girlfriend yesterday,unfortunately,she is the HR assistant of the company on which i am living;what'more,she said no quite firmly and she expained exactly the reason is that she needs a truly mature man from whom she can learn and become mature too.but i ,obviously,don't fit for the condition demanded,ha! i was sentenced to death right away,so candidly!that made remember something,and i told her she had achieved one thing which took someone else three years to do.then i found i was such a fool,but it was too late,she was so clever that she understood what i meant in few seconds.certainly,she thought i was trying to find some substitution.in fact,if i were the girl,i would have had the same feeling that "the boy is a junk,who do you think you are?"
at first,she said no but she was still a little happy,but when i said those foolish words (though,i really really didn't mean that,because i have been out of the past for long),i guess ,she must be angry.so i apologize sincerely here,maybe she couldn't see,but still i have to say,really sorry!
when i got home i sent message to her,she asked an interesting question whether i knew XiaoKun,of course i knew her,the HR manager who gave me the offer for this position.i can't understand what she meant by asking this.a threat>?or nothing?from what i know about her,the question couldn't a threat or warning,anyway,i can't catch what exactly she is thinking,ha!
at last ,i want to say if i really want to find some substitution,i don't have to risk so much,anyway,she controls more resource in company than me who have nothing and know nothing.really hope that she would understand me!          GOD!

自己是一个单身汉，也许是真的不适合和女孩子在一起，所以才在追求的道路上一直不顺利。但是自己实在不想这么一直下去，于是我怀疑自己是不是得了心理疾病，见到一个刚刚认识的女孩子就想：如果她能做我的女朋友也是不错的事情吗呵呵，我真是个流氓！不过我就是这样的一个流氓，如果能够有机会的话我会好好珍惜能够愿意和我在一起的而不介意我是这样的一个流氓的女孩子的。也许有人看到这些肯定会远远避开我，但是这是我的心里话，也许是很多人的心里话，也许不仅仅是有些男人的心里话吧！也许这就是这个世界上像我们一样的动物每天会思考的事情吧，呵呵！人呢！